I feel like Yoko.

I can't make friends. It's pointless. It seems I'm too head strong and opinionated and pushy. I had a really great group of friends, that i loved, that made me so happy to be around, and now, it's not the same. I started seeing one of them. Which shouldn't be a huge deal since the other two are a couple. to we were two pairs instead of one pair and a couple wheels. But then, there was a situation that escalated very fast based on facts that were presented. Then, like with all things that escalate, it went to far. Now, I just can't make myself want to face one of the others. who is part of a couple. so it makes it hard to see the one I'm not mad at. And out of loyalty or personal disgruntled-ness "my" quarter of the group won't see the same person. again making things difficult for the...hell. It makes it hard on Jessica. I know she's going through a lot what with taking care of Nathan, but I'm just still so mad at him. More than mad. I'm disappointed that things turned out this way and i can't help but blame him. And now it looks like i betrayed Jessica. Which was not my intent. but I'm sure it doesn't matter.
the thing is. I saw this band, twice, and spoke with them. I said that I'd like to try to do a write up about them in enigma. they said cool. Well, through a case of mistaken Identity they thought Jessica was me, and instead of admitting it they said I referred her to them. Which I didn't. I'm sorry. I never brought Jessica up. Because I wanted to do the write up. Because I was the one who spoke when them and saw them live. It just makes sense. Well, I emailed them to see if they still wanted to do the interview. They made no mention of Jessica. She has a ton to do anyway and I'm sure they don't want to wait til she has time, and besides, let me say this one more time, I saw their performance, and listening to their recordings is nothing in comparison. I could be wrong about the mistaken identity part, i don't know what was said to whom. Just that Jessica told me that they said I referred them to her. Yes, at this point i should have said something. but i had already emailed them my questions and i honestly didn't think it would turn out as well as it did. I put off telling her for when I knew if it would go in the paper or not. No point in bringing it up until then, that's what i thought anyway.
Well, I didn't get confirmation that it would get published. I didn't find out until she emailed me about it.
So, I feel like Yoko. I've broken up the band.

There's more, but that's enough for now.