Call me Ranty McRanterson

I know I don’t blog much. I also know I don’t have readers so at least I’m not letting anyone down. Today though, I have a rant. However, before I begin the rant let me preface with the following:

1.) My manfriend, boys, and I have moved into Manfriend’s childhood home due to the duplex we were renting being foreclosed on.
2.) Our friends were booted from the same duplex community for similar reasons. They are staying with us for a while.
3.) Work has been increasingly stressful and I force myself to get through it.
4.) As always, money is tight.
5.) The boys are finally going back to school tomorrow.
6.) Sometimes I think my manfriend forgets we are in a relationship and not just roommates.

Lets start with point one, shall we?

Point one: The boot and the house

In October of last year, Manfriend and I decided to co-habitate. Due to budgetary restrictions we decided on a nice little duplex right next to some good friends of ours. We paid our rent on time every month and kept the place in good condition. We liked it there, even if it was a bit small for two adults, two kids, a dog, and two cats. That’s fine. We are cool with that. In May of this year, however, we received a letter from a lawyer saying that the property was foreclosed on in May of 2010 (for those of you keeping count that means we signed a lease to someone claiming to be the owner five months after he lost the property). So we were paying rent to the wrong people.

Because we needed to move out fast Manfriend and I reluctantly agreed to rent Manfriend’s childhood home from his parents. At first this didn’t seem like a very big deal. Yeah, the ceilings are only 6ft high…yeah the a/c was currently disassembled, yeah we had to move a bunch of junk out of there…but it was shelter! It has three bedrooms! It has a fenced in back yard! Definite pros. But now we have the cons…busted water pipes, a/c is completely caput, mice, ants, light fixtures that are not flush to the low ceiling, gaps in the fence that have to be stacked with all the random crap to keep the dog in the yard, and lets not forget all the random crap that’s around. OR the fact that mumsy and daddy think that they can come in the house whenever they feel like it, if we are there or not.

We have three sinks in the house. The cold water works on two of them…no hot water at all runs to them do to pipes having to be capped off because as great as it is to have a flooded yard, we can’t afford the $200+ water bills. (that means one sink doesn’t work at all). There is a shower…but it doesn’t work…at all. The tub, fortunately, has hot and cold water, though the faucet is too wide to attach an adapter to turn it into a shower.

We have managed to borrow three window a/c units so at least the bedrooms are cool. But the electric bill definitely gets a hit. I’m looking forward to cooler weather so we can just open windows and hope my cats don’t pop out the screens.

I’m also having to deal with gas appliances which are new and scary to me. It’s also expensive. And did I mention the gas clothes dryer died and the pipe to the clothes washer leaks so bad we have to go to the Laundromat now? Yeah. It’s that kind of place.

But we do have a sweet front porch and a nice back deck. The back yard is also pretty. It’s also a place we don’t have to worry about being booted from and it does provide shelter and there is enough room for us all. So it’s not all bad. Most days I just pretend to be Laura Ingalls.

Point number two:

When the boot is on the other foot.

After we found out about the deception involved in our duplex renting our friends became worried they would suffer the same fate since their landlord was the same guy. So, reasonably, they expressed their concerns to the property manager who told them to wait to pay rent until he knew what was going on. Some how that turned into a court day and an eviction.

What kind of human would I be if I let my best friends be homeless? Really world, compassion still exists over here. Male friend has health issues related to pre-birth complications (morning sickness pill anyone?). Disability isn’t much these days. Female friend has been trying to find a job….have you seen the economy lately? If you didn’t have a job before the last elections GOOD LUCK! Not blaming the prez by the way, I’m not political, that’s just a time frame that I’ve noticed, even as non-political as I am. So I cleaned out the “storage room” and finally found an old A/C unit and moved them and their two little dogs in with us.

At this point I should probably explain that I am a village person. No not like YMCA dress like an Indian chief kind of village person. What I mean is, I was raised in a home with two grown ups and four kids. My grandparents were very involved as were my aunts and uncles. We even had an Aunt live with us for a while. Village living to me is a great thing. Ideally its in more of a small community type deal and not under the same roof. But we aren’t set up for that yet. I like the idea of the hippy commune but with out the hippy aspect. Group dinners, everyone working together but still taking care of their own needs, kids playing together, ext.

So I don’t mind having the extra folks around and really it works out well for me. If I need a bath I no longer have to wait until I’m absolutely sure the boys are asleep so they don’t get into something. Or if I need help cleaning up, it’s there. Or if I need someone to talk to or just sit and watch movies with me, I’m covered. I’m not big on alone time and like to hang out with friends.

El numero tres:

16 tons and what do you get?

Ah work! That thing I do to barely be able to pay the bills.

It’s not just that I don’t make enough money. Heck, that’s mostly my fault for not finishing my degree and racking up so many bills. It’s the lack of job satisfaction. I know this isn’t the kind of work I want to do the rest of my life. I try to find creative outlets at work such as taking over our webpage but I don’t really have the background to do all the really cool stuff on it that I’d like. (oh how I’d love to get educated in that!) I also don’t have the time. I generally do stay busy (as I should) my full 8 hours each day. It’s the extra stuff that annoys me. Things that if other people would just do what they are supposed to do then I wouldn’t have to waste my time fixing or finding it.

And there is the drama. I suppose all offices have drama and yes, I do find it entertaining. I do, however, resent it when it actually does start to effect job performances. Business spirits watch over anyone I ever get to be manager over. I’m fun, I’m chatty, but I’m deadly serious about team work and doing the best you can.

I’m so sick of people saying (unjustly, believe me) that they have too much on their plates or my ultimate peeve “that’s not my job”. There are those here that do have too much on their plates. It’s funny though, those are the people that rarely complain and DO go above and beyond to be helpful or to resolve an issue unrelated to their position. “that’s not my job” is the anthem of the lazy and the selfish. I’d like to point out to all of those “that’s not my job” folks that, at least with our company, all job descriptions end with “and other responsibilities as needed”. That means anything you’re asked to do job wise, is your job.

On to point four:

Can you spare a little change?

We had money put away in savings. Thanks to the gas not being hooked up for almost two months (there was a leak that had to be fixed first). We had to eat out…a lot. Then there were the expenses of buying items to try to fix the plumbing to no avail. Plus the increased water, electric, and gas bills do to the leaks, lack of a/c, and well, gas is expensive anyway. All that savings…gone. Bills keep coming in and I’m finding it hard to put anything back. I am guilty of purchasing items that are not needed but believe me, I’ve cut that WAY back. Maybe in a month or two I can fix the savings if I work really hard at keeping under budget.

But hey, times are tough for everyone right? That’s nothing new. At least I have income and shared bills.

Point 5:

Schools out for summer!...still…

This is a quick point. I love my children dearly and I love spending the evening with them when I get home from work. By the end of summer though, they are bored to death and start fighting and getting into things more than normal. Plus my poor mother (who watches them while I’m at work) is flat worn out! School isn’t starting till September 1st this year. OMG! But that’s tomorrow so hopefully the boys will get back in the swing of things quickly and their temperament will improve since they will get some time apart each day.

Point 6:

Sugar pie, honey bunch.

I knew certain things about my Manfriend before entering into a relationship with him. Things like verbal affirmations are not something he is comfortable with. This I can deal with. I’m savvy enough to know an “I love you” in actions as well as words. And let’s face it, talk is cheap. He actually does things to show he cares…well…did…does…heck I don’t know. He’s still here. He still stays with me and the boys. That’s something. He’s very good to us. We don’t fight. But we don’t communicate much either. We’ve reached this weird plateau in our relationship. We always have people around. Dates don’t happen. I feel uber special if we actually go out for drinks alone. I don’t know, but I’m starting to think that I’m more in the relationship than he is. He works third shift so we really don’t see each other much. And he has a very stressful and physically draining job so I don’t want to bug him or stress him out more.

To get to the heart of what’s bothering me- Last night, for the first time in weeks, I was going to have alone time with Manfriend. Alone time does not inherently mean “adult time” which is pretty rare anyway. But time to spend just together was finally going to happen. The Roomies were meeting with some friends and the boys were fixing to go to bed. Yay! Time! I love time! (have you ever taken the love languages course? My love language is quality time) And then! And Then! Random Friend stops by. No call. No text. No “hey roomies aren’t here…maybe they are enjoying an empty house and I would be a total DB for just barging in”. Nope. Instead we get “hey guys lets hang out, hey I just bought this thing and it’s over at so and so’s house, want to go see it?” at 9 at night. Yes, please, barge into my house and take not only the only time we’ve had in weeks but make sure you actually go do something while you’re at it. That’s cool right? Yeah sure it is.

So I tucked the kids and bed and went to bed myself. There was no point left in the evening for me. (I do like Random Friend by the way; he’s a fun little dude. I just didn’t like my fantasy of quality time shattered). I didn’t make a scene or anything. I just quietly went to bed. I did get the “hey did you go to bed?” check up by the Manfriend. But since I was actually upset enough to cry a little I didn’t respond nor did I want to roll over when he was trying to check on me…I assume that since he was trying to get me to look at him it was to see how upset I was. But I didn’t want him to know I was sad so I just acted what I hope came off as “sleepy grumpy” and he left the room. This morning he asked how I slept and if what was making me pissy. (he did this in a nice voice not an angry WTF is wrong with you voice.) I admitted that I didn’t like someone just showing up when we had our first time together in a while. No real response from him. I don’t think he got it.

I feel like ships passing in the night.

Oh well. He’s way to good a person for me to let stuff affect our relationship like this. I just need to perk up and cross my fingers that at some point we will have a better life together and things will work out.

In the mean time, a list of pluses in my life:
My boys!!!
My manfriend is awesome, even if we aren’t in honeymoon mode
I have great family
I have great friends
I have a job
I have shelter
I have hobbies
I have food
I have awesome pets.