Saturday, July 5, 2008

Every so slowly down the proverbial drain

Unemployed, behind on every bill, completely out of money. My temper is way too hot and the fuse is way too short. Did I mention my health isn't that great either? between the upper respiratory infection and the cervical problems I don't know what to do. it's not like i can run over to the doctors office or anything. Child support is just enough to keep me from getting medicaid. If there is anything more I could screw up I'm sure I'll find it.

To say i'm down would be a huge understatement. Huge.

Not to say that there aren't good things in life too. My kids are great. A little wild at times and stubborn as all get out. The boyfriend situation is still good. My bad mood is probably f'ing that up though. I really try but sometimes I just can't stop myself from mouthing off when i know i shouldn't. Goes along with me being a moron I guess.

At this point,if I didn't fuck something up I'd think the world might explode.

So, after all the complaining I need a course of action.
I'm still looking for a job. I have a week to apply to about 20 more places to keep my TANF standings, which I won't be approved for btw. I make 7 dollars too much....in child support.
1. Look for a job.
2. Call mortage company and see if I can get a deferment
3. Call car loan company and see if I can get a deferment
4. Call contractor again and try to get the air cond. fixed so we can stay home.
5. Contemplate life and figure out what it is that I want.
6. Try very, very hard to watch what I say and how I say it.
7. Try very very hard to get more depression meds.
8. Look for a doctor that will see me about my cervix knowing I can't pay for it.
9. Try not to run away.