Every so slowly down the proverbial drain

Unemployed, behind on every bill, completely out of money. My temper is way too hot and the fuse is way too short. Did I mention my health isn't that great either? between the upper respiratory infection and the cervical problems I don't know what to do. it's not like i can run over to the doctors office or anything. Child support is just enough to keep me from getting medicaid. If there is anything more I could screw up I'm sure I'll find it.

To say i'm down would be a huge understatement. Huge.

Not to say that there aren't good things in life too. My kids are great. A little wild at times and stubborn as all get out. The boyfriend situation is still good. My bad mood is probably f'ing that up though. I really try but sometimes I just can't stop myself from mouthing off when i know i shouldn't. Goes along with me being a moron I guess.

At this point,if I didn't fuck something up I'd think the world might explode.

So, after all the complaining I need a course of action.
I'm still looking for a job. I have a week to apply to about 20 more places to keep my TANF standings, which I won't be approved for btw. I make 7 dollars too much....in child support.
1. Look for a job.
2. Call mortage company and see if I can get a deferment
3. Call car loan company and see if I can get a deferment
4. Call contractor again and try to get the air cond. fixed so we can stay home.
5. Contemplate life and figure out what it is that I want.
6. Try very, very hard to watch what I say and how I say it.
7. Try very very hard to get more depression meds.
8. Look for a doctor that will see me about my cervix knowing I can't pay for it.
9. Try not to run away.