Call me Ranty McRanterson

I know I don’t blog much. I also know I don’t have readers so at least I’m not letting anyone down. Today though, I have a rant. However, before I begin the rant let me preface with the following:

1.) My manfriend, boys, and I have moved into Manfriend’s childhood home due to the duplex we were renting being foreclosed on.
2.) Our friends were booted from the same duplex community for similar reasons. They are staying with us for a while.
3.) Work has been increasingly stressful and I force myself to get through it.
4.) As always, money is tight.
5.) The boys are finally going back to school tomorrow.
6.) Sometimes I think my manfriend forgets we are in a relationship and not just roommates.

Lets start with point one, shall we?

Point one: The boot and the house

In October of last year, Manfriend and I decided to co-habitate. Due to budgetary restrictions we decided on a nice little duplex right next to some good friends of ours. We paid our rent on time every month and kept the place in good condition. We liked it there, even if it was a bit small for two adults, two kids, a dog, and two cats. That’s fine. We are cool with that. In May of this year, however, we received a letter from a lawyer saying that the property was foreclosed on in May of 2010 (for those of you keeping count that means we signed a lease to someone claiming to be the owner five months after he lost the property). So we were paying rent to the wrong people.

Because we needed to move out fast Manfriend and I reluctantly agreed to rent Manfriend’s childhood home from his parents. At first this didn’t seem like a very big deal. Yeah, the ceilings are only 6ft high…yeah the a/c was currently disassembled, yeah we had to move a bunch of junk out of there…but it was shelter! It has three bedrooms! It has a fenced in back yard! Definite pros. But now we have the cons…busted water pipes, a/c is completely caput, mice, ants, light fixtures that are not flush to the low ceiling, gaps in the fence that have to be stacked with all the random crap to keep the dog in the yard, and lets not forget all the random crap that’s around. OR the fact that mumsy and daddy think that they can come in the house whenever they feel like it, if we are there or not.

We have three sinks in the house. The cold water works on two of them…no hot water at all runs to them do to pipes having to be capped off because as great as it is to have a flooded yard, we can’t afford the $200+ water bills. (that means one sink doesn’t work at all). There is a shower…but it doesn’t work…at all. The tub, fortunately, has hot and cold water, though the faucet is too wide to attach an adapter to turn it into a shower.

We have managed to borrow three window a/c units so at least the bedrooms are cool. But the electric bill definitely gets a hit. I’m looking forward to cooler weather so we can just open windows and hope my cats don’t pop out the screens.

I’m also having to deal with gas appliances which are new and scary to me. It’s also expensive. And did I mention the gas clothes dryer died and the pipe to the clothes washer leaks so bad we have to go to the Laundromat now? Yeah. It’s that kind of place.

But we do have a sweet front porch and a nice back deck. The back yard is also pretty. It’s also a place we don’t have to worry about being booted from and it does provide shelter and there is enough room for us all. So it’s not all bad. Most days I just pretend to be Laura Ingalls.

Point number two:

When the boot is on the other foot.

After we found out about the deception involved in our duplex renting our friends became worried they would suffer the same fate since their landlord was the same guy. So, reasonably, they expressed their concerns to the property manager who told them to wait to pay rent until he knew what was going on. Some how that turned into a court day and an eviction.

What kind of human would I be if I let my best friends be homeless? Really world, compassion still exists over here. Male friend has health issues related to pre-birth complications (morning sickness pill anyone?). Disability isn’t much these days. Female friend has been trying to find a job….have you seen the economy lately? If you didn’t have a job before the last elections GOOD LUCK! Not blaming the prez by the way, I’m not political, that’s just a time frame that I’ve noticed, even as non-political as I am. So I cleaned out the “storage room” and finally found an old A/C unit and moved them and their two little dogs in with us.

At this point I should probably explain that I am a village person. No not like YMCA dress like an Indian chief kind of village person. What I mean is, I was raised in a home with two grown ups and four kids. My grandparents were very involved as were my aunts and uncles. We even had an Aunt live with us for a while. Village living to me is a great thing. Ideally its in more of a small community type deal and not under the same roof. But we aren’t set up for that yet. I like the idea of the hippy commune but with out the hippy aspect. Group dinners, everyone working together but still taking care of their own needs, kids playing together, ext.

So I don’t mind having the extra folks around and really it works out well for me. If I need a bath I no longer have to wait until I’m absolutely sure the boys are asleep so they don’t get into something. Or if I need help cleaning up, it’s there. Or if I need someone to talk to or just sit and watch movies with me, I’m covered. I’m not big on alone time and like to hang out with friends.

El numero tres:

16 tons and what do you get?

Ah work! That thing I do to barely be able to pay the bills.

It’s not just that I don’t make enough money. Heck, that’s mostly my fault for not finishing my degree and racking up so many bills. It’s the lack of job satisfaction. I know this isn’t the kind of work I want to do the rest of my life. I try to find creative outlets at work such as taking over our webpage but I don’t really have the background to do all the really cool stuff on it that I’d like. (oh how I’d love to get educated in that!) I also don’t have the time. I generally do stay busy (as I should) my full 8 hours each day. It’s the extra stuff that annoys me. Things that if other people would just do what they are supposed to do then I wouldn’t have to waste my time fixing or finding it.

And there is the drama. I suppose all offices have drama and yes, I do find it entertaining. I do, however, resent it when it actually does start to effect job performances. Business spirits watch over anyone I ever get to be manager over. I’m fun, I’m chatty, but I’m deadly serious about team work and doing the best you can.

I’m so sick of people saying (unjustly, believe me) that they have too much on their plates or my ultimate peeve “that’s not my job”. There are those here that do have too much on their plates. It’s funny though, those are the people that rarely complain and DO go above and beyond to be helpful or to resolve an issue unrelated to their position. “that’s not my job” is the anthem of the lazy and the selfish. I’d like to point out to all of those “that’s not my job” folks that, at least with our company, all job descriptions end with “and other responsibilities as needed”. That means anything you’re asked to do job wise, is your job.

On to point four:

Can you spare a little change?

We had money put away in savings. Thanks to the gas not being hooked up for almost two months (there was a leak that had to be fixed first). We had to eat out…a lot. Then there were the expenses of buying items to try to fix the plumbing to no avail. Plus the increased water, electric, and gas bills do to the leaks, lack of a/c, and well, gas is expensive anyway. All that savings…gone. Bills keep coming in and I’m finding it hard to put anything back. I am guilty of purchasing items that are not needed but believe me, I’ve cut that WAY back. Maybe in a month or two I can fix the savings if I work really hard at keeping under budget.

But hey, times are tough for everyone right? That’s nothing new. At least I have income and shared bills.

Point 5:

Schools out for summer!...still…

This is a quick point. I love my children dearly and I love spending the evening with them when I get home from work. By the end of summer though, they are bored to death and start fighting and getting into things more than normal. Plus my poor mother (who watches them while I’m at work) is flat worn out! School isn’t starting till September 1st this year. OMG! But that’s tomorrow so hopefully the boys will get back in the swing of things quickly and their temperament will improve since they will get some time apart each day.

Point 6:

Sugar pie, honey bunch.

I knew certain things about my Manfriend before entering into a relationship with him. Things like verbal affirmations are not something he is comfortable with. This I can deal with. I’m savvy enough to know an “I love you” in actions as well as words. And let’s face it, talk is cheap. He actually does things to show he cares…well…did…does…heck I don’t know. He’s still here. He still stays with me and the boys. That’s something. He’s very good to us. We don’t fight. But we don’t communicate much either. We’ve reached this weird plateau in our relationship. We always have people around. Dates don’t happen. I feel uber special if we actually go out for drinks alone. I don’t know, but I’m starting to think that I’m more in the relationship than he is. He works third shift so we really don’t see each other much. And he has a very stressful and physically draining job so I don’t want to bug him or stress him out more.

To get to the heart of what’s bothering me- Last night, for the first time in weeks, I was going to have alone time with Manfriend. Alone time does not inherently mean “adult time” which is pretty rare anyway. But time to spend just together was finally going to happen. The Roomies were meeting with some friends and the boys were fixing to go to bed. Yay! Time! I love time! (have you ever taken the love languages course? My love language is quality time) And then! And Then! Random Friend stops by. No call. No text. No “hey roomies aren’t here…maybe they are enjoying an empty house and I would be a total DB for just barging in”. Nope. Instead we get “hey guys lets hang out, hey I just bought this thing and it’s over at so and so’s house, want to go see it?” at 9 at night. Yes, please, barge into my house and take not only the only time we’ve had in weeks but make sure you actually go do something while you’re at it. That’s cool right? Yeah sure it is.

So I tucked the kids and bed and went to bed myself. There was no point left in the evening for me. (I do like Random Friend by the way; he’s a fun little dude. I just didn’t like my fantasy of quality time shattered). I didn’t make a scene or anything. I just quietly went to bed. I did get the “hey did you go to bed?” check up by the Manfriend. But since I was actually upset enough to cry a little I didn’t respond nor did I want to roll over when he was trying to check on me…I assume that since he was trying to get me to look at him it was to see how upset I was. But I didn’t want him to know I was sad so I just acted what I hope came off as “sleepy grumpy” and he left the room. This morning he asked how I slept and if what was making me pissy. (he did this in a nice voice not an angry WTF is wrong with you voice.) I admitted that I didn’t like someone just showing up when we had our first time together in a while. No real response from him. I don’t think he got it.

I feel like ships passing in the night.

Oh well. He’s way to good a person for me to let stuff affect our relationship like this. I just need to perk up and cross my fingers that at some point we will have a better life together and things will work out.

In the mean time, a list of pluses in my life:
My boys!!!
My manfriend is awesome, even if we aren’t in honeymoon mode
I have great family
I have great friends
I have a job
I have shelter
I have hobbies
I have food
I have awesome pets.

The unsupported Change

It's hard for me to maintain excitement about a possible change in my life when the people that know me best don't support it. Am I such a failure at life that I really can't make it on my own? Really? I suck so badly that I should avoid any chance of even trying to make it?

Here's the deal.

I have applied and interviewed for a job 2 hours away from home. If I were to get it, then it would mean a pay raise and more opportunity to serve my company. I'm totally stoked about even the possibility!

But I get things like "How could you?" from my mother and "I just don't know how you will take care of those boys" or "I don't know how I feel about you moving that far away" from my aunt. Even my childrens' father makes it sound like I'm moving across the contenient.

Of course, I feel like I can do this. My co-workers at least say that they think I can pull it off. My friends are supportive, my boyfriend is even encouraging.

So how am I supposed to feel about the non support? My children are healthy, well cared for, smart, and loved. Yes, they would have to go to after school care instead of their Nana's. Yes, I would have to cook every night. Before I started working full time, I took care of them 24-7. Even after I started working I still cooked dinner almost every night.

But apartently I fail.

Well, if given the opportunity to take the job, I am. I feel confident in my abilities to do well for the company. I feel even more confident in my ability to 100% take care of my kids.

Oh god, they'll be in after school care...you know,... with other kids...doing stuff. oh the horror!!!

really.... Really?.... REALLY???

Well sha-Damn!

Guess I should concider updating this a bit more often.
I dumped the husband. Long story short, he lied from the moment I met him about who he was. I fell for it like a complete tard. He was arrested Oct. 1st 2009 for cooking meth in my house while I was in a hospital bed at my moms. Also found lots of evidence to support the theory that he was never faithful to me. Gross. It is now also my belief that he was never off drugs. This thread of thought has been supported by interviews with people that knew him.
Hope he enjoys his 15 years in jail.
Anyway...
Life is much better now. I am walking just fine. I have some nasty scars from the wreck on my knee, but that's fine. I get to make up stories for new people, usually invovling a vintage harley and a trip to las vegas....and orphans...haha.
Lets see...at work I have been moved to Accounts Payable, which I enjoy a lot more than my old job. Still wanting to finish my degree though and be a teacher. Am resuming that treak in October.
Divorce has been final for a while, thank pete.
Kids are doing really well. They have adjusted to our new life in the tiny duplex and so far seem not too much worse for the wear. They are much like me in their ability to bounce back, though I truely dispise myself for testing their ability to do so.


I do have a new fella. One I've always "crushed" on or whatever...am I still young enough to crush? Anyway. To my very, incredibly great surprise, he returned my "crushiness". So far so good. Not getting carried away and trying not to make him something in my mind that he's not. Luckily he's been a friend for years, so I know his goods and his bads.

Hard to trust my feelings though. I mean, how can I take myself seriously? Two marriages? really? at 27? I rushed that last one because of some need to make myself complete...or some such nonsense... maybe i just really wanted a wedding...who knows.

I am trying to trust them though, but not let them overwhelm my sense of reason. Which is totally working for now since I'm terrified of being hurt again. I've not lost my faith in people completely though, so I have positive feels about how this will turn out, even if I don't have definative dreams, which I figure is really good.

I've had a lot of time to examine who I am. All the time in the hospital bed...all the time trying to figure out what I was thinking with the last ex, why I let myself be fooled, what i really believe about soul mates and life long partners and love...

I don't think it's a bad thing that I still assume the best about people. I don't think it's bad that I still want to trust, or put faith in people. Yes, they will still let me down, and yeah, I'll let them down too. but some day, some one down the line (should it really be in my destany) someone is going to pull through for me and I will for them also. It won't be magic, or fairy tale wonderment. It will be equal efforts, equal respect, and equal love for one another.

I am trying to be more in tune with my children also. Not that I feel I am a bad mom. I made a mistake. I've learned a valuable lesson. They are such sweet little boys. They do act out when they are tired or stressed, but for the most part, I don't think you could find two more well behaved, sweet natured boys that aren't totally creepy. I mean, you know those kids that don't even look at their parents the wrong way...there is always something so robotic and weird about them... you get me on that right?

well, that's all for now.

Love and hugs!

Humpty Dumpty Sat on a Wall

Okay, so here's the story behind what has recently occurred in my life, should any one care to know.

Saturday (the 27) was my husband and my 3 month wedding anniversary.

Now, we realize that three months is no big deal, we are just celebratory kind of people. Well, the snafu was that on that day I was to attend my company picnic at Lake Winnie , so we decided to put off a special "just me and him" activity for Sunday (the 28th).We had loads of fun at Lake Winnie, saw some friends from work, got over heated and left for a while and got ice cream, went back for the company door prize event where we didn't win anything. Hank from work kept saying he was going to win the mini lap top and I'll be danged if he didn't actually win it. Power of positive thinking I suppose.

It was too late to go swimming over at mom's after we left the park (and there was a storm coming in) so we popped off and picked up some rum for me (low proof) and some scotch for the hubby. We invited our good buddies Jessica and Alex over for a few drinks and to watch a movie. Jessica and I got to go rent the movie. The redbox didn't have much of a selection so we went over to block buster (where it is retardedly expensive to rent a movie). We rented what has to be the best B movie of 2009. Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus!

Oh, it's terrible! We loved it!

We didn't get plastered or anything like that, not even buzzed. That wasn't the point. It was just a fun relaxing evening with friends.

Then came Sunday.....

The weather was lovely and we woke up late, so we decided to start our day with lunch at Captain D's. Well, it being Sunday and lunch time, Captain's was packed! So we booked up back up two blocks to Long John Silvers where the crowd was much smaller. Upon entering Ft. O we passed a sign for horseback riding through the Chickamauga Battlefield. That definitely sounded like something neat we could do together! So we jotted down the number to call later. We also passed a place that rented motor scooters for $15 an hour for a self tour of the battlefield. We jotted that one down too!

Having just eaten and it being such a pretty day outside, we decided to go to my mom's to swim for a while. (don't worry, it took us at least 30 minutes to get there and get settled, so we didn't break that rule about swimming). We swam for about an hour and talked about which we'd rather do, ride horses or scooters. Josh (my hubby) called the horse back riding place and they wanted $45 dollars per person for a 45 minute to one hour guided trail ride. Ouch that's pricey! We don't have money like that for such a quick trip, plus it's guided and that takes out some of the adventure! Luckily Josh's friend Phy had done the scooter thing before with his dad and they said they had a blast. So we call up the place and confirm that it is an hour ride for $15 dollars and you got to go anywhere in the park as long as it was on road. No guide, go as fast or slow as you are comfortable with (and with what is legal). All right! We had a plan and I was giddy with anticipation! This was going to be my new adventure. I've never been on anything more than a bicycle and Josh said if you can ride a bicycle you can ride a scooter. So, yeah, I got this, I'm all OVER this.
So we tell my mom we'll be back over later to pick up some squash she'd just picked from her garden and we run over to our house. I put on some longer blue jean shorts (my favorite pair) and a green shirt that wouldn't show clevage and put on some sneakers. We rode back over to the scooter place and picked out our scooters. The owner said that since we seemed like such nice responsible people he wouldn't charge the security deposit of $100, which I thought was just uber sweet of him.
I picked out a red one and Josh picked out a black one. Helmets were included. They gave me a quick educational in the parking lot, which I did fine with. I went around four or five times with little trouble. So we took off toward the park! I followed Josh into the park and we turned left at the first red light. It was sooo much fun! So outside my normal safe zone. Josh stopped just down the road to let me stop and make sure I was comfortable driving. My arms were starting to get a little tired but I was fine. This was just too cool.
So we took off again. We went over a couple of little bumps and I handled them just fine. I'd been on my scooter probably 7 minutes by this point and only going about 20-25 miles an hour. Now into the park proper!

So there I am, pretty as you please, following my husband around the bend. Suddenly there is a dip in the road, the front wheel starts going crazy! I can't control it! OH SHIT!

To be continued...

Every so slowly down the proverbial drain

Unemployed, behind on every bill, completely out of money. My temper is way too hot and the fuse is way too short. Did I mention my health isn't that great either? between the upper respiratory infection and the cervical problems I don't know what to do. it's not like i can run over to the doctors office or anything. Child support is just enough to keep me from getting medicaid. If there is anything more I could screw up I'm sure I'll find it.

To say i'm down would be a huge understatement. Huge.

Not to say that there aren't good things in life too. My kids are great. A little wild at times and stubborn as all get out. The boyfriend situation is still good. My bad mood is probably f'ing that up though. I really try but sometimes I just can't stop myself from mouthing off when i know i shouldn't. Goes along with me being a moron I guess.

At this point,if I didn't fuck something up I'd think the world might explode.

So, after all the complaining I need a course of action.
I'm still looking for a job. I have a week to apply to about 20 more places to keep my TANF standings, which I won't be approved for btw. I make 7 dollars too much....in child support.
1. Look for a job.
2. Call mortage company and see if I can get a deferment
3. Call car loan company and see if I can get a deferment
4. Call contractor again and try to get the air cond. fixed so we can stay home.
5. Contemplate life and figure out what it is that I want.
6. Try very, very hard to watch what I say and how I say it.
7. Try very very hard to get more depression meds.
8. Look for a doctor that will see me about my cervix knowing I can't pay for it.
9. Try not to run away.

I'm just saying is all.

Shark kills triathlete training at Calif. beach

Attack happened near Solana Beach in San Diego County, authorities say

Okay, so guys, lets train for a race by swimming in one of the nations most shark inhabited waters!
Really, I feel for this guy's family. But at the same time I'd like to point out that perhaps, just maybe, you shouldn't swim in someones food bowl. Just a thought.

Explanation

I was writing too much on myspace, so I moved it all here again. Thanks!

Does anyone else ever wonder what happened to the people...

Current mood: contemplative

You spend 9 of your most informative and personality developing years with pretty much the same group of people. I wonder sometimes about those other people.
The grammar school I went to was k-8 so you'd think we'd all be pretty well bonded. Alas, that is so not the case. From what I remember the area was fairly affluent and to say it kindly, my shopping wasn't done at the GAP.
It's sort of sad to know how completely unrememberable I am. I wasn't the strangest, by far I wasn't the prettiest. Hell, I wasn't even the poorest. Does anyone remember odd little Lindsey from grammar school? I died my hair pink once if that helps.
But I guess it doesn't matter. I remember lots of people. I remember playing sax with Cassidy and Curtis played trumpet. I remember goofing off with Ariel, Alex, Billy, Chris, Doug, and Alex. I remember cussing Jered. I recall how every girl fancied Tim and Randall and Charlie. I remember the popular girls, Ashely, Linsey, Tiffany, Danielle, Kelly, Courtney, and Brittany. I remember some of the girls that weren't so popular like Kia, Edith, and Naomi, they were all extremely nice people. Do you remember Michelle? how crazy smart she was. And Tall Sara. I couldn't even be the tallest girl. Rachel was a good pal of mine. Then there was Kristin. There was another Sarah that moved.
I remember Joey and Jeremy. I'm certain there are more that cross my mind, but those are some that I periodically think about. OH and Daniel, I didn't forget you either, I heard you got taller by the way.
I wonder if it's weird that I think about people like that. But then I remind myself that it was 9 years. Why shouldn't I wonder about them?

Currently listening : Life Is a Grave & I Dig It! By Nekromantix Release date: 10 April, 2007

Joe Strummer

This article was brought to my attention. By god this man is right!

John Cusack|

Thanksgiving Calling

Besides family, health and friends, here's another thing I'm thankful for. I was asked to write a little something for a Joe Strummer tribute in Scotland... Doing so, I remembered just how grateful I was he showed up on earth while I was around...

There was no one like Joe Strummer. There is a lineage, of course. Woody Guthrie, Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan...I was always staggered by his voice. It was like a shaman should sound. If Roy Orbision sang for the lonely, Joe sang for the hungry.... His voice was liquid desire and it ignited as it left his mouth, his body shaking to contain the heat, like a rocket in the first phase of lift-off.... He was a pioneer who demanded art and politics be fused in the interests of humanity and truth. Often the truth was painful, just as often it was liberating, transcendent, and just plain fun. He was an icon of unrivaled integrity... Billy Brag said if it weren't for The Clash, punk rock would be just a sneer, a safety pin and a pair of bondage trousers... it sounds right to me... It's been said Strummer reinvented rock. That sounds right too. I know for certain he challenged, inspired and demanded us to think and feel in ways we hadn't before... demanded we use rebellion and anger as fuel for the journey to other, better worlds, never as an end in itself. Demanded we reach for the transcendent in everything and everyone, and to never suffer those fools who will not think and feel their way home. He was a guiding light and he got us out of many a tough jam. Knowing him, I was always humbled by his grace and intelligence, his passion, and the sheer ferocity of his will... and Jesus Christ that man could fucking rock.

Food for thought, Animal Rights vs. Animal Welfare

Info found here.
I found it VERY interesting.

Animal Rights?.......WRONG!

For the amount of money raised and spent by U.S. animal rights groups
every animal in America ought to have its own condominium.

Why then, do more than 15 million pets a year end up in under funded local humane shelters with overworked staff who are frustrated that they cannot even adequately feed and care for them?

Animal rights activists cannot blame researchers, hunters, circus owners, meat-eaters, fur-and leather-wearers, breeders, fishermen or zoo keepers for the sorry condition of shelter animals. It is the animal rights movement which has turned its back on the suffering of these animals.

But the animal rights agenda goes far beyond the narrow issues. Animal rights groups such as PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) want a nation-wide ban on fishing, for example, and an end to all meat eating, which they consider cruel. Opposing hunting is just a way to get a foot in the door. PETA is so committed to the rights of animals that it even advocates an end to keeping dogs and cats as pets.

The animal rights movement's main goal is not, and never has been, to save or help animals.
Its mission is to market its philosophy and lifestyle to the American public. Shelter animals are sacrificed in the short-term so that animal rights groups can gain the money, power and influence needed to sell their view in the long-term.

ARA Tactics :

ARA (Animal Rights Activists) propaganda routinely makes fictitious claims, in order to win support, and of course money, from people who have no access to other information. They utilize terrorism to propagate their narrow, ignorant views as fact to uninformed members of the public in order to achieve their goals.

The Department of Justice says there have been more than 313 instances of animal-rights violence in the United States.

The A.L.F.(Animal Liberation Front), which has caused tens of millions of dollars in damage to U.S. research labs, factory farms and fur farms in 15 years of existence, has been branded a "terrorist" organization by the justice department and the FBI. Alex Pacheco, chairman of PETA, told The New York Times,

'Arson, property destruction, burglary and theft are 'acceptable crimes' when used for the animal cause.'

Rodney Coronado, a member of the Animal Liberation Front, pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 57 months in prison for the destruction of an animal diagnostics research lab at the University of California, Davis in April, 1987 (total damage estimates: $4.5 million).

PETA sent $ 45,200 to Coronado's 'support committee,' which was a sum 15 times greater than what PETA spent on animal shelters nationwide in all of that year.

This is what happens when social movements self-righteously believe they are so obviously correct that they may break the law with impunity and attack indiscriminately both persons and property who get in their way.

ARA taking care of themselves, not animals :

PETA :
Eleven million animals are destroyed annually for lack of facilities. Yet PETA spent less than $ 3,955 of its $ 12 million in fiscal 1995 and $ 6,100 of its $ 10.9 million in fiscal 1996 for shelter programs, according to its nonprofit tax forms filed with the IRS.

So what has PETA done to help these homeless, hungry and sick animals and others that suffer and die in shelters each year? According to its FY 1995 tax documents, next to nothing.

Less than $5,000, or .03%, of PETA's $13.4 million budget was allocated to shelter or spay and neuter programs in the U.S.

90% of the $1,485,076 PETA donated, or $1.3 million, went to itself-that is, PETA's satellite offices in Germany, The Netherlands, and England. Next to PETA's overseas offices, the next largest donation, $45,200, was sent to animal rights terrorist Rodney Coronado to help him avoid going to jail for fire bombing medical research facilities. Coronado is now serving a 57 month jail sentence.

The Humane Society :
HS, for its part, raises and spends close to $50 million, enough to bank roll at least one well-run animal shelter in every state and have enough left over to spay, neuter, feed and save the lives of tens of thousands of dogs and cats every year. So how many HS-run animal shelters benefit from the HS budget? ......None.

The Humane Society does not operate a single shelter, despite a $ 40 million budget.

Yet ...

The HS managed to pinch enough of its precious pennies to pay its president, Paul Irwin, $237,831 and its chief executive officer, John Hoyt, $209,051 in addition to providing tens of thousands of dollars in bonuses to the pair.

These figures alone should be enough to convince you that your time and money would be better spent elsewhere.

ARA and medical research :

Would you be willing to sacrifice your child's life so a rat may live?

That is what the ARA are asking of you. Without animal research, life saving treatments and vaccines for everything from diabetes to polio would not exist. Most Americans support and benefit from medical research involving animals. In the United States all drugs must be tested in animals before being tested by human beings. Typically, animal rights activists are often ignorant of even basic scientific and medical concepts.

Animal research has provided

• 50,000,000 prescriptions for antibiotics
• 30,000,000 prescriptions for asthma
• 3,000,000 operations under local or general anaesthetics
• 180,000 diabetics kept alive with insulin
• 90,000 cataract operations
• 60,000 joint operations
• 15,000 coronary bypasses
• 10,000 pacemakers implanted
• 6,000 heart valve repairs or replacements
• 4,000 congenital heart defects corrected
• 2,500 corneal transplants
• 2,000 kidney transplants
• 400 heart or heart/lung transplants

ARA says "Most animals used in research are cats, dogs or monkeys."....Not true!

The real figures are:

• Rats and mice 83%
• Fish , birds and reptiles 12%
• Other small mammals 3%
• Large mammals (cows, etc.) 1.3%
• Dogs and cats 0.4%
• Primates 0.2%

* NOTE.....Animal Welfare is not the same as Animal Rights. Animal Welfare provides information for improved animal care and use in many fields. Animal Welfare's goal is the improvement of the standard of living of ALL animals, no matter their purpose. Animal Welfare is also of value to legislative and regulatory authorities and other organizations responsible for the welfare of animals. Animal Welfare does not support/condone the beliefs or tactics of the ARA.

Please DO NOT support Animal Rights Activists.

No cat anywhere ever gave a straight answer...One of those meandering self indulgant blogs.

No cat anywhere ever gave a straight answer...One of those meandering self indulgant blogs.

"I would tell you what you want to know if i could mum, but I be a cat. And no cat anywhere ever gave a straight answer."

That is one of the mottos i go by. that and my favorite live for the day slogan "carpe jugulum".

Sometimes i wonder if mine should be "carpe testiculum". you figure it out.

I often wonder if i'm really all that compatable with anyone. sure i can get along, and play nice, but how much is that just me acting. Or am i acting, how is it that i don't even know. How can I be myself and not really know who i am.

I have always felt lost, and at times sinking, not so much the latter right now.

my thoughts on D.I.D. (damsel in destress) :

I am not a D.I.D. I'm not about to be gobbled by a dragon. I don't need a knight. and I'm not broken. I'm just not put together quite right. Everyone, i mean everyone, needs to stop trying to fix me.

I keep making poor choices. What's up with that? Really? At some point or other you'd think I would learn something.

work is still going very well though, and for that i am very thankful.

I can only give so much. So much time, so much money, so much ego boosting. This goes for anyone. I run out. So if you use me up don't be all suprised when I turn into a moody broke bitch.

but yeah, i give straight answers about as often as a cat does...

Nothing puts me quite such a good mood as V.

Current mood: vibrant

I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.

But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Currently watching : V for Vendetta By Steve Moore Release date: January, 2006

I’m curious like a ferret

so, on the side of my page it says "meet tattooed singles in your area".

really, there's enough for a web page?

my curiousity won't let me not click the button. Fortunately all my little internet safety things didn't beep and flash at me. I'm still going to scan in just a sec.

Anyway. so i sign up cos I just have to see this. So, it turns out that tattoosinglesnet.com is just singlesnet.com. All the tattoo stuff is dropped right away.

So, LIARS! hahaha.

Anyway, here's a part i found crazy. By the time I had my profile filled out and a really terrible picture of myself thrown up (check out the pictures of me with my ferrets, it was one of those) I had no less than 9 emails from guys or automatic matches or something like that. If it wasnt' automatic...What the hell are these guys doing? "omg, someone new! *pounce*"

so, that experiment complete I promptly deleted my account. I got the free peek inside the world of singlesnet.com . sooooo not impressed.

Pointless little adventure I thought I'd share with you all.

Later!

Tattoos and the bible

Just doing a little research. here’s the first finding that I wanted to share.
Sacred Ink: Tattoos and the Bible

My favorite Unhappy ending movie

some lines from "Closer"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dan: Didn’t fancy my sandwiches?
Alice: Don’t eat fish.
Dan: Why not?
Alice: Fish piss in the sea.
Dan: So do children.
Alice: Don’t eat children either.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dan: You love her like a dog loves its owner.
Larry: And the owner loves the dog for so doing.
Dan: You’ll hurt her. You’ll never forgive her.
Larry: Of course I’ll forgive her. I *have* forgiven her. Without forgiveness we’re savages. You’re drowning.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Anna: Why are you dressed?
Larry: Because I think you may be about to leave me and I didn’t want to be wearing a dressing gown.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Larry: I think you owe me for deceiving me so exquisitely.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dan: When I get back, please tell me the truth.
Alice: Why?
Dan: Because I’m addicted to it. Because without it, we’re animals. Trust me.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Alice: I don’t want to lie. I can’t tell the truth. So it’s over.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Larry: There’s a girl out there who calls herself Venus, what’s her real name?
Alice: Pluto.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Alice: Where is this love? I can’t see it, I can’t touch it. I can’t feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can’t do anything with your easy words.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Anna: Love bores you.
Dan: No, it disappoints me.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++